The distressed therapist
I am waiting for my psychologist to arrive at our appointment. This takes place in a room that has the similar physical orientation to our usual consult room, but is brighter, more expansive, with a high ceiling and has the feel of a sunroom.
She arrives late crying and is dishevelled apologising that we are unable to have our session today. I remember a sense of moving around the room while talking when she first came in, eventually sitting on the couch and her lying down next to me she puts her head in my lap and cries while I stroke her hair and tell her it's ok as she describes why she is upset. She has been cheating on her partner who is a psychiatrist with another man who is much older. I ask her if her partner knows what is going on. She says no and explains that she is only with her partner for social prestige and seeks romantic validation from the older man.
Dream notes and associations
The older man of the dream is recognised by me as a teacher of political science at my old highschool, from which I graduated 18 years ago. While I was at school this man was the defacto partner of my year coordinator and I used to catch the bus to school and chat occasionally to his step daughters. He never taught me personally. There was always an undercurrent of gossip surrounding him and his partner my year coordinator.
My feelings throughout the dream and on awakening
In the dream I felt glad to be able to comfort my psychologist. In real life, I had emailed her to make an appointment but she hadn't yet responded. Upon awakening I felt that she would be late in answering because she is going through a difficult time with her family. I am relieved to feel it is her personal problems and not rejection of me as a client that are the reason for her non-response. I also feel guilty that during our last session I was not engaging in her comments as I felt misunderstood in what I was trying to describe. I get a sense that perhaps I don't need to attend therapy anymore and that the dream could mean there are diminishing returns to continuing at the moment.