The Hand Job

Dream

I have just emerged from the Covid-19 lock-down. I go to a massage parlour and pay for a hand job. The man who serves me is a very large Greek. He has a chest and arms like beer barrels, and a black moustache on his upper lip. He directs me to a massage table in the middle of his shop. I am feeling very sexually aroused as I walk over to the table but I soon realise that is not very private location. The shop is located in a busy street and people are walking past the shop and I can see them through the windows. Can they see me, through the windows as well? People are also coming to the shop to buy things. Throughout the shop there are glass display cabinets full of knick-knacks for sale. I also noticed that there are no female staff in the shop. Is this man going to be the one to give me the hand job? The shop is at last empty of customers and the Greek man is walking over towards me and I woke up at that point.

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Dream notes and associations

The Greek man did remind me of someone, but I'm not sure who he is.
Since the bushfires and now the Covid-19 virus it feels like my life has been put on hold. Before all this I was regularly seeing a counsellor dealing with issues of sexual abuse when I was a teenager. Now we are seeing the relaxation of the lockdown I have to start that process over again and I am noticing that there is some resistance to contacting the counsellor to see if she is in a position to restart the counselling. I have also noticed that there is some resistance to launching myself back into the process of submitting myself and my dreams for analysis with Martina. I feel like the me in the above dream wanting to have the release that the process will bring but realising that I will have to get naked to bring that about. And I feel like that I am stripping myself naked, exposing my true self to my counsellor or dream analyst. Those were the thoughts that went through my mind after waking up from the dream.
Marion, the coordinator at UND, contacted me recently. They are starting up the work at the medical school earlier than usual, this year, and she was checking on my availability.
Also to report that often I wake most mornings knowing that I have had some dreams the night before but was unable to remember what those dreams were about. This was the first time, for a number of weeks that I have woken up and remembered a whole dream.

My feelings throughout the dream and on awakening

Initially the dream felt sexually arousing but then a strong feeling of exposure. Upon wakening I felt very sexually aroused.

To answer your question on a previous dream of mine: the "Shit Dream" was a dream I had back in the early nineties, I have mentioned it to you before, but we haven't worked on it. In the dream I was an inmate of a prison camp. I was completely naked and covered in my own shit. The prison camp provided me with a basic but adequate shelter and food and water. When I awoke from the dream I immediately felt very sexually aroused. I was confused as to why that dream would make me feel sexually aroused. That weekend, in response to a dream workshop that I was attending, I had another dream that, again, made me feel sexually aroused upon awakening. That is when all the memories of each act of sexual abuse, that I received as a teenager, arose in my mind. This was the first time in my life when I remembered everyone of those incidents as opposed to just remembering one of them. Prior to that dream, sometimes something or some place or someone would trigger a memory of just one incident and only that incident.

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Dream Therapist
Martina Kocian
3 years ago

Hi Lindsay, that’s a pretty stressful situation to have people coming and going in the shop. I’m really intrigued by the large Greek character. I can see how this dream relates to your feelings and resistance about exposing yourself again even though the process brings release.
 
It’s ok to take a break and some time out, you’ve come a long way. Perhaps restart one thing at a time and gradually build up to your previous schedule if that’s what you want. I’ll be here when you’re ready :).

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